"I need to poop in a diaper"?
This is what my ds 3 1/2 says when he needs to poop. He is completely out of diapers, except at night. He has been using the potty for about a year with absolutely no problems. But, He refuses to poop in the potty. He asks for a diaper, goes somewhere private, does his business, hangs out awhile and then says "OK I'm ready for you to change my diaper because I don't want to get a rash". I have pretty much tried everything to get him to go in the potty. He refuses. He says he is scared but he can't explain why. I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I have never told him he has to go in the potty, although lately I have started to give him a little bit of a hard time, just some complaining on my part about how he is getting too big for me to be changing diapers on him. So, if I continue to just let it go, not make it a big deal, give him that diaper to poop in, will this just resolve itself? Or, do I need to say "OK, we are done with diapers except at night for sleeping"?
How about telling him he can choose to poop in a diaper but now he is big enough to clean himself up? Explain to him how he is big, and not a baby who needs you to change him. Give him his own supply of wipes and fresh diapers and tell him that you will be glad to "check him" to see if he got himself clean enough, but cleaning himself up is his job now.
Dh did this when one of my kids, who was older than 3 1/2 at the time was wearing a diaper at night for pee but then instead of taking it off to poop in the toilet (he pooped and peed in the toilet during the day) was pooping in the diaper. I hated it because there was such a mess in the bathroom afterward. But it got him to start pooping in the toilet because he saw what a pain in the neck and just how unfun it was to change poopy diapers, especially poop in a pee filled dipe.
Just be sure to teach him proper hand washing!
Both my sons did the exact same thing!
My now 4 1/2 yo was out of diapers during the day and peeing in the toilet (or most often outside! We live in the country!) but would insist on a diaper for pooping. He was unable to say why he didn't want to not use the toilet but he wouldn't. We would always offer/suggest the toilet (or the 10 different training pots we had accumulated- kept thinking we didn't have the right one!) and he would choose the dipe every time. When he was just 4 I was in the shower and he came in the bathroom saying he needed to poop and was using the toilet, sat down and did it! That was it, done with the dipes. He also later in the same week said he no longer wanted to wear a dipe at night and stopped and in the 6 months since has had maybe 3 accidents at night!
His 2 1/s yo brother was both peeing and pooping in the pot for 4 months or so and then decided poop only in the dipe and just last week has started using the pot again and at the same time has also said no nighttime dipe and no accidents so far!
We stayed relaxed with the older one, we weren't particulary bothered by changing the dipes, I was pretty confident he wouldn't poop in a dipe forever (!) and we had no extrernal pressure like a school requirement to be out of dipes. There was some family/friends pressure which we tried to ignore!
I have a friend who's 4 yo dd was doing the same thing and she did what the other poster suggested- got her dd to change her own dipes and her dd loved it! It's been about 5 months and dd still uses the dipe but changes herself every time and is quite good at it!
Another frind had success with bribing with candy! Said her 3 1/2 yo ds was using the pot consistently within 2 days of m&ms!
Hang in there mama, he'll be on the pot soon!
My dh had this problem also. Like pp we just let it go and knew this wouldn't last forever. At around 4 she gave up the diaper on her own. I once herd somewhere that pooping on the potty feels alot different than in a diaper and that its really a scary feeling for them.
My ds requested a diaper for poop for a while after using the potty for pee. He was younger, 2.5, but I was really struggling with the poopy diapers since we used cloth diapers and it was such a mess to clean. One day, he just decided to poop on the potty, and did and all was great. . . for about a week. And then he was begging us to put diapers on him again. So of course we did. But my mom came to visit and brought with her a jar filled with tiny wrapped presents. The deal was that anytime anyone pooped in the potty, they got to pick a present from the jar. It took a day and then ds was TRYING to poop on the potty when he didn't even have to go because he wanted to pick a present. After two days, I let the kids open all the presents in the jar (and ended up throwing most of them out a little while later, little junky things) because I was worried they were going to hurt themselves with all the straining and trying to poop! But, it definitely worked. He hasn't asked for a diaper to poop in since. He still wears diapers for bedtime (at almost 3 now), but just stopped wearing them for naps.
Lex- i LOVE the wrapped presents idea! dd is at a total standstill with pooping- she has special underwear and candy to celebrate any poop on the potty & still no go. we suggest every time but that's it as far as us taking any lead. the presents would be a big hit! time to hit the 99 cent store :thumb
my dd was younger but did the same thing. She potty trained day and night instantly (I done diapers now - seriously, that was it, so she got it.) but absolutely refusd to poop anywhere but a diaper. and she would bring the diaper, do her business, and ask me to change. I tried just saying no, we are out of diapers - she held her poop for 5 days. and then filled up 8 diapers in a row. She was a stuborn one. still is actually . . . . but just as suddenly as she potty trained she started pooping on the potty. we tried everything in the mean time with no sucess. she never told us why. its a mystery but it did pass.
Your son is old enough to reason things out though. perhaps if you told him he could pop in his diaper but only in the bathroom, and then after a while telling him he can wear a diaper but has to be on the potty. and then try removing the diaper . . .
An ap mom with three children was my potty training mentor. She told me that she did this with her first two children, but refused to allow the third child to poop in a diaper (she was fuzzy about the details). She advised me to do the same.
My dd is 5yo and will only poop in a pull up she also wears them to sleep in. She cant/wont tell me why she refuses to poop in the potty :( We have been thru so much with her on this it has been very hard. She has actually trained herself to only go at night and in the morning when she is home and can get to the pull-ups if she has a poo pain and we are out somewere she will start to whine and cry and walk the floor till the pain passes, and nothing I say or do will get her to even consider sitting on the potty and going. I am at the point now that I just change her and let it go cause if I get to hard on her about it she will hold her poo and then get tummy achs and hurts when she does go. There is nothing physically wrong with her that is preventing her from using the potty I had her checked out :( I beleive it is just her personality.
The one thing I learned and advise every one not to do is NEVER try to force the issue by taking away the diaper. Kids that age can hold their poo for so long that they cannot go. Even if they want to and it can cause the colon to become so enlarged that they could get so impacted they may need surgery to fix it. Lucky my dd didnt get that bad but she was in a lot of pain. With the help of 2 different kinds of laxative she was finally able to empty out her colon. I just keep telling myself that when she is ready she will go in the potty I mean what are the odds she will still be using a diaper and going to collage :p
We did the thing with letting dd clean herself up but that didnt work at all :Puke she would get it all over her hands and make such a huge mess even with me standing right there helping that it was just easier to change her myself.
I did try the sticker reward thing but that didnt work. I tried buying her a gift when she went, didnt work. I really like the idea of a jar with little gifts in it but honestly I dont think it will work. There is just something in her head about pooping on the potty that she is gonna have to work thru herself.
Didnt mean to highjack the post :o just wanted to share my experiance. Good luck to you on getting your dc to go in the potty, I know it is very frustrating, please be patient :) dont make the mistake I did :crying.
Isn't it funny what we parents can get excited about? I saw this thread and was like, Yeah!!! we aren't the only ones! Ds is 3 and still wants that diaper to poop in. He has no trouble using the toilet otherwise, but at night, when I dress him for bed, I'll ask if he needs to go poop in the potty first, he'll say no, then when that diaper goes on, off he goes. It's almost as if he's held it in all day and the diaper is a signal that it's ok to let it out.
I don't know if any of you also experienced this, but ds would hold his poop for a long, long, time (I'm talking days) when he was younger. I remember times when it had been 4 days and my dh and I would start freaking out, but without fail, after the 5th day, he'd go. Just wondering if there was any relationship here.
No advice, just letting you know we're in the same boat.